Rye Street - Episode 2

Ask Dan and Jenn - Shy Dominatrix?

The Gay Republican #2 - Washington Goes Wild

I got an email this weekend from my friend Sue. Yes, that’s her name.

It was a forwarded email; a “résumé” for George W. Bush… comprised of his ostensible embarrassments, offenses, and failures - personal as well as professional; some real, some fictional. Reeked like it was composed by some moveon.org axe wound who spends his evenings writing “Draft Al Gore!” blog comments on the Daily Kos from his parents’ basement.

I replied to Sue simply, “What made you think that I’d enjoy this?”

I’m well aware that I hold unpopular opinions within my demographic, given my identity and my location. Irreconcilable (and unignorable) political differences have played at least a partial role in the demise of three serious relationships. (I just can’t imagine one day raising little ankle-biters with a husband who would want them to mature into shit-eating Socialists.) But while the constant “dull roar of blue-state,” Los Angeles, has yet to persuade me to genuflect at the alters of socialized medicine and anthropogenic climate change guilt, it has reinforced the message of the Golden Rule.

I have a personal policy against needling people. I love an honest and feisty argument, but I think twice before spewing unprovoked personal antagonism. I didn’t always have this policy, and I’m not perfect about following it, but I’m pretty damn good. It’s a karmic thing, I suppose; I didn’t call my lefty friends to say “neener neener” after the 2004 election, and I expected the same from them in 2006.

My conversation with you though, dear reader, is not a personal one, so I’ll spew whatever vitriol in this space I please.

This week I have some!

Like any respectable citizen, I watched the State of the Union address on Monday night.
Bush did pretty well, I thought, stumbling over only a handful of words here and there, and proposing only minimal new discretionary spending.

The interesting part of the Address, however, as with any stage show (such as the Oscars), was the people-watching.

I noticed Barack Obama seated next to Ted Kennedy. They strike the eye as terribly odd bedfellows, but I imagine that Barack would be feeling pretty chummy with Teddy right about now, having just picked up his endorsement for President this week. Another small victory for Obama’s campaign of “hope”. (“Hope” for what exactly, I’m still not sure, but it’s easier to stretch a vacuous speech into an hour if the theme is “hope” rather than “Quaaludes”.)

It’s a perilous endorsement, of course, and I’m not even referring to the fact that it pokes the Clinton machine squarely in the eye. No, above and beyond that bridge burned, Ted Kennedy’s brave hop into Obama’s “Hope” camp will likely draw him the ire of the vast and dangerous “anti-Hope” crowd. God bless your political courage, you pudgy grey drunk. For your next act of maverick defiance, you and your friend from Illinois might try introducing a Senate Resolution endorsing Pounds, Miles, and Gallons; thereby pissing off the well-heeled and influential Metric System lobby.

Another word on Ted: When Bush proposed fortifying the No Child Left Behind act, Senator Kennedy simply sat and maintained his inebriated scowl. Does the phony bastard think we have no memory? He co-wrote NCLB! How can you not applaud it when the President is complimenting its results??

On the topic of the ladies, Condoleezza Rice looked fabulous as always. Hillary Clinton I don’t have much to say about, except that that number she was wearing looked to be the same shade of red as Laura Bush’s lipstick.

The real story of the State of the Union, of course, doesn’t break until Good Morning America the following day, so that the President’s message can be diluted with pundit spin. I don’t watch GMA (or Today or The Early Show or American Morning), but no doubt it was laced with snippets from Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius’s Democrat response. Which actually started off somewhat inspirational (if stilted) but rapidly decomposed into lame entreaties for Bush to drop his mean-spirited, right-wing agenda, and reach across the aisle to help the Democrats implement their well-intentioned (read: half-baked) plans.

This brings me to my central frustration with Washington. It’s not that there’s too much fighting. It’s not that there’s too much special interest money. It’s not even that Kool-Aid drinkers like Dennis Kucinich don’t have to pass a sanity screening before serving in office.
It’s that the people in Washington act as though they’re putting on a stage production for an audience comprised exclusively of nitwits. Seriously, dear Reader, don’t you get sick of all the puppet shows and window dressing?

The nauseatingly overused stock phrases, like “my opponent was for blahblahblah before he was against it”. Wow. Original. The endless anecdotal parade of victims to tug at your heartstrings, like the Eskimo Girl a few weeks back who broke down into tears before Congress because Global Warming (she claimed) had melted some Alaskan snow. Please. The flat-falling, decidedly unclever turns of phrase that they use to try to appeal to the baser forms of human cognition. I heard one fat suit comment to Bush after his Address, in reference to his tax rebate plan, “How can you give a rebate to folks who didn’t throw in any bait in the first place?” So goddamn lame. The fact that I agree completely with his sentiment doesn’t diminish my desire to crush his nuts with a pair of pliers.

The press, I might add, makes this lamentable state of affairs even worse; packing their news reports with “dispassionate” pedantic analysis of this political bilge. And then presenting it as though they and their viewers alone can see above the fray, and ergo can busy themselves with the higher pursuit of wondering how the D.C. circus show might be swaying the opinions of the great unwashed. I can just hear it on “Face the Nation”: “For analysis, we turn now to our South Carolina political correspondent, Wilford Brimley. Will, how do you think Mike Huckabee’s threat that terrorists ‘will see the gates of hell’ might play with Evangelicals?”

!The posturing, the pontification; it’s all so sickeningly formulaic. It’s like
watching “Small Wonder” or “Step by Step”, but without the wholesomeness r the humor. The next politician to call for “a return to civility in Washington” deserves to get capped. Somebody throw a fucking punch

Artist To Watch - Super 400

Stoner Rock at it's best!

New York's Super 400, are this week's "Artist to Watch"

Super 400 takes the classic 'power trio' approach with their live show - three instruments taking up the sonic space of an airplane hangar, rocking to the heavens - but their vocal dynamics and undeniable spiritual synergy cause the sounds to swell to the bursting point. They've become one of the most loyally followed rock bands in the Northeast, with the mayor of their hometown giving them an official holiday, 'Super 400 Day,' to recognize the band's musical achievements.

And the fan base is growing; last year's national tours started a chain of bootleg recordings that have been traded and coveted around the world. Super 400 is gearing up for a new string of national dates this Spring, and will return to Europe in June. They welcome tapers at every show. No two performances are alike; this band loves the crowd and leaves them in a blistered frenzy, room after room.



Download "3 And The Beast"





Super 400's Website
Myspace.com/Super400

The Spring 2008 Tour Scandinavia Contest

Traversing across Sweden, Norway, and Finland, Planetary Group and Sonicbidshas been spreading the word of up and coming artists for eight years with theirTour Scandinavia contest.

Exclusive to Sonicbids members, the contest is open to a wide variety of genres, from rock, pop, and reggae to world, jazz and hip-hop artists. Besides an awesome spring tour around cities like Helsinki, Stockholm, and Copenhagen, the winners of the contest have all their expenses (airfares, hotels, meals, equipment rentals, etc.) paid by Planetary Group: everything a band could possibly want.

The Scandinavian Tour follows the successful sister contest, Tour China, held in the fall, and has had great acts such as Falcon (2007 Tour Scandinavia winner),and Malajube (2006 Tour Scandinavia winner), both of which had great successes with these tours. "All in all, it was a truly spectacular trip, Chris and Adam and the Planetary Group treating us so well throughout and ensuring all the while that we were well taken care of and…happy.” says members of the 2005 Tour Scandinavia winners, The Natural History. “The hospitality of the Swedes has left us forever grateful and we’re looking forward to returning there this fall.

Planetary Group and Sonicbids are looking forward to offering the next opportunity for artists to perform and tour in the Scandinavia region, with the next Tour Scandinavia event, set for launch in the Spring of 2008. Don’t be intimidated; any Sonicbids member anywhere can sign up and apply to be on tour. The deadline for applications is March 14, 2008, so act soon, everyone!

To apply for the Tour Scandinavia contest, visithttp://www.sonicbids.com/

White Chicks On Rap - Jay-Z - American Gangster

Label: Roc-A-Fella
Rating: 4 Guns

Jay-Z’s retirement in 2003 with the “Black Album” closed his career on such a high note, no one could touch him. When he came back in 2006 in with “Kingdom Come,” I had to ask myself, “Why?” Was he bored?

“Kingdom Come” sounded like a beginner trying to impress, and when I heard he was working on a new album, I was nervous that it was going to follow in that vein. Luckily, my fears were unfounded.

Inspired by the film, “American Gangster,” Jay-Z opens his 10th studio album with a sample of Frank Lucas (Denzel Washington),

“The man I worked for had one of the biggest companies in New York City. He didn't own his own company. White man owned it, so they owned him. Nobody owns me, though.”

This can be said for Jay-Z, a man who hustled on the streets of New York to become one of the greatest rappers of all time. The smash single “Roc Boys” (which Rolling Stone named the 2007 song of the year), is a celebration of the good life…well Jay-Z’s life as he boast his crew are “the dope boys of the year”. And while the hustle can pay off there is always a downside, as reflected in “Pray” and “Fallin.”

Jay-Z raps with one-time beef partner Nas on “Success”. We’ve heard many artists talking about how empty success can be, but Jay-Z is also calling out what success has done to others around him “I'm pissed off, is this what success all about/A bunch of niggas acting like bitches with big mouths.”

Jay-Z builds a world on this album through the beats and lyrics and you believe every word he says because you know he’s seen it the game. This album stands with the “Black Album” and “The Blueprint.” If you don’t believe Jay-Z is one of the greatest rappers alive, then I don’t know what your problem is!

Entercourse TV - Episode 1

Ezra Furman & The Harpoons - Banging Down The Doors

Label: Minty Fresh
Rating: 3.5 Guns

Download "Banging Down The Doors" From


"I wonder what would happen if someone forced the Violent Femmes at gun-point to play a show with Radiohead and Beck?" I thought to myself, as I wandered to my mailbox.

I slipped the key in the slot only to discover a large white envelope with the magazine's address scrawled in Yellow crayon. I ripped the envelope open in a fit of curiosity, and to my amazement, inside the envelope was Ezra Furman & The Harpoon's debut album "Banging Down The Doors."



I slipped the CD into my car stereo only to discover the answer to my previous question. "Hello, this song is called 'Mother's Day,' it's about a whore that I knew in Chicago," a voice eerily similar to Gordon Gano's shouted at me over booming drums.

"Banging Down The Doors" is Ezra Furman's Minty Fresh debut, and it delivers like a sonic folk explosion. Just like the Femmes, this band relies heavily on acoustic guitar, and subdued, yet in-your-face rhythm section.

"I Wanna Be Ignored" (see player under album cover) is the album's first single, and sounds like it could take dorm rooms by storm across the country. "Mother's Day" and "Hotel Room in Casablanca" are strong songs as well. "Casablanca" follows the Folk Rock format, using harmonica and thick acoustic guitars to highlight Ezra's stunning voice.

"Halloween Snow" is reminiscent in sound to a snowy winter in Chicago, and gives off the same Midwestern vibe as the rest of "Banging Down The Door"

A few other key tracks are: "How Long, Diana?," "God Is A Middle-Aged Woman," "My Soul Has Escaped From My Body," and "She's All I Got Left."

This album is definitely worth a few dozen spins, go out and buy it.

Check them out at EzraFurman.com

Midwest Teen Sex Show - Episode 2

Whirled News - Current Events Quiz

1. This person lured a country known for its alliances with harsh dictators and for its opposition to genuine democratic movements in its own and in other countries into spending billions of dollars on fighting a war it should never have fought and on other defense-related issues. He is considered responsible for the county’s eventual economic collapse and is hailed as a hero by millions of people around the world.
1. Ronald Reagan
2. Osama bin Laden
3. Both a & b are correct
4. Neither a nor b are correct

2. As part of the economic stimulus plan proposed by the Bush administration and Congress, a provision stipulates that when the Dow Jones hits 0, it will automatically reset to 12,000.
1. True
2. False

3. A study by two nonprofit journalism organizations finds that in the two years following 9/11, Bush administration officials made 934 false claims about Iraq.
1. True
2. False

4. Barack Hussein Obama’s big ears are actually homing devices that will help his fellow Muslim terrorists zero in on Washington, DC after he is elected President.
1. True
2. False

5. Justice Antonin Scalia, in opposing a condemned man’s claim that lethal injections constitute cruel and unusual punishment, said, “There is nothing in the Constitution that forbids inflicting pain.”
1. True
2. False

6. Justice Antonin Scalia, in an opinion joined by Justice Clarence Thomas, held that torture was not torture with suspects in the war on terror because fanatics are incapable of feeling pain.
1. True
2. False

ANSWERS:

1. C is correct. If you answered d, thinking that the real answer was George Bush, you missed the phrase “hailed as a hero by millions of people around the world
   
   
2. False. This is the one useless idea NOT in the economic stimulus plan.
   
   
3. False. The study finds they made 935 false claims. If you answered False because you believed it was Rudy Giuliani who made 935 false claims about his own role in protecting New York City after 9/11, you receive half a point credit for choosing the right answer for the wrong reason.
   
   
4. False. If you answered True because you heard it on Fox News, subtract an additional point from your total for being so shameless that you admit to watching Fox News.
   
   
5. True. Amazing, isn’t it? Before he was publicly humiliated and forced to resign, Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez was reportedly working on a legal brief explaining the difference between pain and cruel and unusual punishment.
   
   
6. False. If you answered True, you probably have this confused with the widespread idea during World War II that Japanese soldiers weren’t afraid to die.

Gnooze - The U.S. May Have A Check For You

Dear in the Headlights #2 - Vera Vanguard

CWG: Where are you from originally?

I was born in Moscow, Russia but moved to New York City when I was 4
years old so I guess the best way to describe me is a "New Yorker" :)

CWG: What's the most unusual project you've worked on?

That's hard to choose. In November I was running around on the set of"Little Big Men" hitting people with foam bats dressed in leatherarmor with wings and crazy makeup. This past summer I played a 19 year old virgin that got hacked to pieces in "Beverly Hills Massacre". I am currently working on my own fan film short based on the video game BloodRayne because lets face it, the movies were not so good. I guess the most "unusual" thing I ever did was lay in a ridiculous pool of blood wiggling while another actress playing a vampire was trying to cut my arm off in "Strange Things Happen At Sundown".

CWG: If you could do one thing to make the world a sexier place, what would it be and why?

I think the world is already a pretty sexy place - if you know where
to look. There's a half naked babe everywhere. I think we can all use
a little more dark chocolate (I hear it's an aphrodisiac). It's all
about the brown.

CWG: What's your favorite album of all time?

Oooooh that's a hard one. It depends on which period in my life we're
in. If you said my early teens then it was glam rock with Appetite for
Destruction closely followed by Master of Puppets (I can still play
the entire Master on guitar). For a while I'll admit my geek status
and say I loved a lot of music from Dance Dance Revolution (I happen
to be really good at it). I guess now that I like a lot of
Techno/Euro/Trance, I tend to go back to Reflections by Paul Van Dyk a
lot.

CWG: What artist are you currently listening to?

Paul Van Dyk, Armin Van Buuren, Ferry Corsten, Andy Hunter, Tiesto,
Paul Oakenfold - I like to shake my booty on the dance floor to all
the world's greatest dance DJ's.

CWG: What was the worst date you ever went on?

I once made a man cry because he was trying too hard to impress me.
Don't ask me about how I did it. I'm evil. Mooohooohooohahahahahaha!
CWG: Favorite place to hang out in L.A.?

Why "The Vanguard" OF COURSE!

Like Vera? Find her on the web.
Myspace
Website

Love in October - Pontus, The Devil, and Me

Label: Musik Group
Rating 3.5 Guns

Up-and-comers, Love in October, sound like the love child of Motion City Soundtrack and the Impossibles; Emo and Indie without being scenester and sucky, this band is definitely worth checking out.

"Pontus, The Devil, and Me," is Love in October's debut record on Musik Group. The album brings me back to that Midwestern, pre-Fallout Boy Fueled By Ramen-type sound. Just like Motion City Soundtrack, these dudes reside in Minneapolis, Minnesota.



Another thing this band has in common with Motion City Soundtrack is that you can and should listen to their album all the way through.

According to the band:

"The name of the debut full-length album, Pontus, The Devil, and Me, was chosen to reflect the schizophrenic nature of the songs. “We noticed that there was a real contrast from song to song, and that they basically fell into three categories,” says Erik. “A – songs that tell a story about somebody or something (Pontus); B – Fast angry dark songs reflecting the bipolar nature of humans (the devil); and personal songs (me).”

Key tracks are: "Circa 1989," "A Day in the Life of," "I Dream Of Marie Antoinette," and "Petrula the Destroyer."

Artist To Watch - Jason Choi

Jason Choi is penned to re-release 2006's "Leave The Night Behind" on Team Grizzly Records February 11, 2008.

Think Pavement meets Coldplay, with a twist of R.E.M.



Check him out at Myspace.com/JasonChoiandtheSea

Happy Slip - Lonely Girl 15 Audition

Motion City Soundtrack - Even If It Kills Me

Label: Epitaph
Rating: 4 Guns

Download on

Minnesota rockers, Motion City Soundtrack’s junior album, “Even If It Kills Me,” is a must-buy. The style is not a dramatic departure from “Commit This To Memory,” but the song writing and hooks are sonically superior to any album they’ve made thus far.

Complete with moog-oriented guitar melodies, and a cohesive sound, this 5-piece band has yet again made a consistent album that’s palatable to listen to all the way through; a rarity in today’s crap-infested, single-oriented “music market.”

The two current singles, “Broken Heart” and “This is for Real,” have that Teen Movie vibe to them, and hold the album together. “Hello Helicopter,” the band’s most dynamic song to date, is worth listening to over and over again, ad-nauseum, while your friends scream at you to put on the new Shins album. Tell them, “No!” and continue to blast “Hello Helicopter” continuously.

A few other key tracks are, “Calling All Cops,” “Last Night,” and “Antonia.”

It’s definitely worth springing for the import on Amazon.com, which contains the bonus track “Not Asking You To Leave.”

Check them out at MotionCitySoundtrack.com

The Skirt-Chaser - With Sam Munoz #1

31-year-old male, married to a lovely wife, two lovely kids and a beautiful house in the suburbs…

The couple is surrounded by great friends and they’ll probably stay married and deeply in love for many years to come. Too perfect right? Maybe that’s how you would picture the ideal life of a male. That’s right. That’s how YOU would picture the ideal life of a 31-year-old male. Well not in my view.

I don’t fit any of the above criteria. Well… except for the fact that I am a male 31 years of age. Other than that, you could throw it all out the window.

You’re probably thinking, “Oh here is someone about to whine about their sad state of affairs in the life of a single man.”

No, sorry, this is not “Sex and the City” on testosterone. In fact, it is quite the opposite. I’m not out there trying to find the “ideal” partner, or out there looking to find THE companion. I’m staying away from settling down.

Why not? I mean 50 percent of all American marriages end in divorce. Why not prolong the inevitable another 10 or 15 years, right?

At this point my goal is to celebrate my single life. There’s no need to rush things; I’ve seen too many of my friends get married, live with a companion, and have children only to see their lives feel empty and miserable. I’ve received two pieces of advice a bit too often…

The first, “You should get married.”

The second, “Don’t ever get married.”

Both pieces of advice have come from married people and more often than not these same people have given me both pieces of advice - depending on their state of mind.

I’ve decided to follow their advice, at least the second piece of advice, or like I said earlier at least prolong the process.

What do I have in mind? Maybe you’re thinking that I just want to stay single so that I can date as many women as possible. Maybe you’re thinking I have commitment issues. You’re correct on both counts…. Sort of.

My parents have been married for close to 38 years. How they’ve done it? I don’t know. My hat goes off to them, but they’ve set the bar way too high. Why try to top that? There’s no need on my end to compete.

Maybe the whole thing about dating as many women as possible isn’t entirely true. I want to date as many QUALITY women as possible. Attractive and intelligent women are what I want; women with substance. The women that don’t fit these criteria, attractive and intelligent, I won’t neglect them, but odds are they won’t last as long as a hot, smart chick. Don’t get me wrong they’ll have a chance with me. I consider myself an equal opportunity guy. I’ll hit on all types of women. I only have two criteria: treat me with respect and don’t be grotesque. If you fit these criteria you have a chance.

Feel free to call me a “skirt-chaser.” I guess I am. Most men are skirt-chasers. Is that a crime?

Welcome to the beginning of this series: exploring the good, the bad, and the ugly of this single man’s life.

Jimmy Eat World - Chase This Light

Label: Interscope
Rating: 3 Guns

Teen-Angst Rockers, Jimmy Eat World are back with an 11-track collection of feel-good break-up songs. "Chase This Light," the Arizona rockers' newest effort, delivers. Similar in style to "Futures" and "Bleed American" the new record is worth buying (or downloading.)

"Big Casino," the album's first single opens the CD appropriately, with singer Jim Adkins' signature whine, and cluttered lyrics. There's some good lines in this one, "Got on old guitar, I've had for years, I'd let you buy," or my personal favorite, "There's a lot of bright ideas in books I've never read, but when the girls come talk to me I wish to hell I had."

"Let it Happen" follows suit, and is yet another rocker. If you're into Jimmy Eat world's harder stuff, you'll also like "Electable" and "Feeling Lucky." The latter two songs are complete with loud guitars and hooky choruses.

The rest of the album is fairly soft, but some stan-out tracks are "Carry You," "Gotta Be Somebody's Blues," "Chase This Light," and "Dizzy."

After listening to the album several times, my current favorite song is "Firefight," a song that follows the Rock music standard of soft crooning verses and heavy-as-hell choruses.

Check them out on JimmyEatWorld.com

Stranded in Stereo Volume 8

Hyperactivity at its best, Stranded in stereo is not only a compilation of today's best music, film and video, but it's also a full-service website complete with blogs, podcasts, and an online store.


With reviews of everything from music to video game systems, this online magazine is sure to keep you entertained for hours. (Where do you think I've been all night?)

If reading's not your thing, they also have a online store complete with Rockabilia Clothing, an MP3 Blog, and a podcast.

Check them out!

Stranded in Stereo
Volume 8

MUSIC
The Bangkok Five - We Love What Kills Us"
Joel Plaskett Emergency - "Drunk Teenagers"
Ween - "Your Party"

Information Society - "Run Away"
Kubichek! - "Nightjoy"
Boys Noize - "& Down"
Ellington - "A Straighter Line"
Dusty Rhodes & the River Band - "Dear Honey"
The Iry - "Blackout"
Freezepop - "Brainpower"
Superdrag - "Cinderella"
Moros Eros - "Safety Net"
Snipe Drive - "Big Cat"
Sarah Borges & the Broken Singles - "Modern Trick"
The A-Sides - "We're The Trees"
Carrie Akre - "Last The Evening"
Terra Diablo - "Setting Sun"
Falcon - "Q of T"
Wes Charlton - "Red Eyes, Blue Lights"
Two Hours Traffic - "Stuck For The Summer"

VIDEOS
Hard-Fi "Suburban Knights"
The Holloways - "Generator"
Office - "Oh My"
The Shackletons - "The Breaks"
Division Day - "Tigers"
Anberlin - "Godspeed"
Scissors For Lefty - "Ghetto Ways"
The Cliks - "Complicated"
Freezepop - "Less Talk, More Rokk"
Martin Bisi - "Goth Chick Œ98"
Lee Paterson - "Working On a Building"
The Bangkok Five - "Track TBC"
The Hair - "Disco/Retro"
The Blakes - "Two Times"
Carina Round - "Come To You"
Black Lips - "Cold Hands"
Underoath - "A Moment Susopended in Time"

FILM TRAILERS
Darfur Now, Warner Independent Films
Funny Games, Warner Independent Films
Hitman, Fox Films
AVP:R, Fox Films

Ask Dan and Jenn - How To Escape The Friend Zone

Rye St - Episode 1

The Gay Republican #1 - Coachella? I'll Get My Wax!

Before Coachella, I’ll embark on my ridiculous aesthetic preparation routine. I’ll forego sugar in all its refined forms and do extra cardio and crunches every day to reclaim abs #7 and #8 from my winter coat. I’ll have dermabrasion every two weeks until late March, when I’ll start spending each lunch hour at Hollywood Tans. The last weekend prior to April 24th (drive-out day), I’ll visit my hairstylist and then get waxed…. Everywhere… And on the 24th, if I’m not dark enough, I’ll top my fake bake bronze with a coat of Mystic.

This is all so I can assure myself that I’ll be better looking than, at the very least, 90% of the vast sea of sweaty, shirtless boys dancing to techno in the Sahara tent.
Fun takes work, dammit!

I emailed my boss to tell him that I’d be taking vacation on Friday April 25th and Monday April 28th. He replied, “I thought you said ‘Coachella was played.’”

“Did I say that? That doesn’t sound like me!”

And I was pretty sure of myself on that one; my buddy Levi had brought his hot friend, Steven, in 2007, and together we’d staked out the master bedroom in the house as “gay territory.” We didn’t even go to the festival on Sunday.

“Yeah, something about just being over it...” my boss continued, “You know, being done with the super-late nights and the being hammered for 4 days.”

“OK, that part sounds like me.”

At 25, I’m still recovering from growing up in a very Catholic house, where “fun” is essentially a four-letter word ("funn"). I’m getting better (really, I am) but on the flipside, at 25, I’m also seeing the wisdom of the finger that shook at me while the mouth it connected to said “shame on you!” I feel like crap when I’ve been drunk for 4 days. I get cranky when there’s no shade at 2pm and all the bands on stage seem to suck. Plus, waking up at 6am every day to be in and out of the gym and into the office by 8:15am means that I go to bed around 10, so by 2am, I get very tired; even on weekends.

I’m the youngest member of the Party Crew.

“How does everybody else do it??” you ask.

Answer: they have fun; I have funn. Mine has strings attached. Planning. Resources. Privilege. Work.

Is that a blessing or a curse? I’m not quite sure.

The lineup for Coachella 2008 was announced this week. I know this because I’ve been checking Coachella.com every day since Christmas. As usual, I’ve heard of almost none of the bands. I’m pleased with my minor rocker stripes that I know a few Datarock songs; they’re definitely on my “see” list. Portishead I like, though it seems like it might a bit of a downer as the Saturday night headliner. Sasha & Digweed, Fatboy Slim; nice, nice… Hey, the Verve! There’s the “used to be on KISS-FM” throwback.

As for the rest of the bands...
My "Team Flawless" friend (and former roommate) Leah and I will probably divide them up in an organized fashion and start scouring the web for music samples to see whether or not they suck. Then, when the stage schedule comes out in April, we’ll prioritize and map out our days.

I pasted the lineup graphic from the website into the annual “who’s coming?” blast email and fired it off to our Coachella Party Crew.
Fun takes planning, dammit!

Then, I contacted the owners of the house we rented last year to confirm that we’d be back. They want a steeper rate and a bigger deposit because some of the comforters smelled like cigarettes after we left, and a few golfers complained about beer cans on the fairway behind the house. OK, I’ll mail the deposit tomorrow morning.
Fun takes resources, dammit!

Our Coachella Party Crew usually consists of a dozen people. About eight regulars, and a few one-offs. A couple inside connections usually guarantee at least an entrance to the VIP beer garden, where we stake out a spot underneath the palm trees. If we really luck out, a couple of artist parking passes are in the mix, which means that when the music dies around midnight, a short walk to a convenient lot and a brief drive along empty roads will get us back to the house, where the night is just ramping up.
Fun takes privilege, dammit!

“Well, whatever I said, I’m definitely going this year,” I told him, “So can I go ahead and block off my calendar for those days?”

“You know, I did the same thing the last year,” my boss blathered on, “I went to the White Party. I said that the year before would be my last, but when the next one rolled around, I had to go again, just to prove it to myself that I was over it.”

I just couldn’t help myself.

“And were you?”

“Yep.”

“Well, thanks for the advice... And the vacation days.”

I’ll check in with you, dear reader, after April 28th. You’ll know what I decide.

Death of Modern Rock - With Mario R. Martin - #1

Intro...Welcome to my monthly column "The Death Of Modern Rock." This is the inaugural issue. Unlike what the title may lead you to believe, modern rock is still alive and kicking. It has not yet died. In fact, modern rock has its very own positive areas, but more than anything, I am a crate digger. I am always digging out the oldies for the stuff that might have influenced today's bands, or better yet, influenced the bands that influenced today's bands. You might ask yourself, "Why the hell would someone write about old shit?" The answer is easy, because I can. I can think of a lot of bands today who sound or have a style much like ones that filled the airwaves before them. To be perfectly honest, it was done better in years past. So, with all that said, read on. You may or may not disagree with me. You may or may not care. You may or may not know that you're learning, but all bullshit aside, you will be able to wax more intelligently about pioneer musicians by ripping off my sweet, sweet style. Boom bip!

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Rhianna? Naw... The Pointer Sisters!

"Automatic" - Pointer Sisters - Break Out (1983)
The Pointer Sisters. Man, what can I say about them? Sisters Anita, Bonnie, June and Ruth made up the Pointer Sisters. Bonnie left the group to work on a solo career, but the trio of sisters continued on to kick down the post-disco era with synth-heavy songs that had harmonizing successes. At the height of the Sisters' career was a funky track by the name of "Automatic" that bordered on the new wave that had been brought on by a bevy of British acts. What makes the track stand out in a sea of 80s compilations, is that it's a well-crafted song that could very well have been the backing bass lines from a Depeche Mode song. Because of the synth-heavy times that faced the early 80s, the song was a direct slap in the face to the success of the style. Despite the intention, the song still made the early 80s synth sound what it would soon become - a mega success.

Now, the Pointer Sisters are never really credited by the music snobbery. They're just often looked over. I think that's just plain wrong. I tend to put "Automatic" on just about every single mix CD I make, and I have for some years now. People always look at me and ask what is wrong with me. I cringe and say, "Are you kidding me? This is the mother f*cking Pointer Sisters! Show some godd*mn respect!" Halfway into the song, people forget it's as dated as it is. It blends into a road trip's atmosphere so perfectly. Mind you, the surprised questions come from people my own age and younger. I can give a little bit of leeway for the younger crowd, but nevertheless, I kind of can't. Why is it that I know about the Pointer Sisters and others don't? Is it that I wanted to dig deeper into a kind of music that sounded intriguing to me when I was younger?