Dear in the Headlights #10 Anastasia soares

CWG: Where are you from originally?

Ukraine

CWG: What's the most unusual project you've worked on?

I worked on the roller rapper project. it was about the guy who roller skated across the country.

CWG: If you could do one thing to make the world a sexier place, what would it be and why?

I would make wearing underwear illegal.

CWG: What artist are you currently listening to?

MIA

CWG: What was the worst date you ever went on?

The guy forgot to brush his teeth and i thought i would throw up every time he spoke.

CWG: Favorite place to hang out in L.A.?

OPERA

CWG: What's your guiltiest pleasure?

Pop Tarts

Like Anastasia? Check her out on Myspace

Single's Club - Anarchy Club - "A Single Drop of Red"

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Anarcy Club - "A Single Drop Of Red"

For Boston hard rock/ electronic duo Anarchy Club, making music is all about creating heavy, hard-hitting songs they would want to listen to themselves.

Anarchy Club’s latest release, "A Single Drop Of Red," with a street date of March 4, 2008, brings crushing guitar riffs, relentless grooves, and searing vocal melodies together into a focused, high-octane hard rock assault.

The EP gives fans five new unreleased tracks, as well as six tripped-out remixes of fan-selected favorites from their debut album, The Way And Its Power. “Collide” hits like a bullet through the heart with haunting vocals countered by an unstoppable guitar assault, while “Blood Doll” goes straight for the jugular with straight-ahead, take-no-prisoners rock fury. The title track “A Single Drop of Red”, serves up a deceptively heavy, hip-shaking drum groove with a head-banging power chorus, delivering both the calm and the storm.

Formed in the winter of 2004, Anarchy Club is the partnership of two long-time friends Keith Smith and Adam von Buhler (co-founder of the popular Castle von Buhler Records, now defunct). With a strictly D.I.Y. production ethic, they deliver their music straight from the studio (von Buhler’s living room) to the street, pure and uncut. Fueled by their addiction to Kung Fu and Asian underground cinema, video games, and classic muscle cars, as well as a wide variety of musical influences, from Rob Zombie and Dr. Dre to Chinese classical, von Buhler and Smith create the cinematic rock juggernaut that is Anarchy Club.

The duo has gathered an impressive following from the popular video game series Guitar Hero and its new recently released counterpart, Rock Band. Anarchy Club initially appeared in the first Guitar Hero with their song “Behind The Mask.” “Collide” was then featured in Guitar Hero 2, while “Blood Doll” appears in Rock Band. The latter two songs are featured on the band’s new EP, A Single Drop of Red.

Smith’s former band, C60 (a.k.a Cobalt 60), had won six Boston Music Awards (five of which were in one year), and shared stages with bands such as Kiss, Run-DMC, Linkin Park, and Rage Against the Machine. Some of their songs were also featured on TV shows such as “Dawson’s Creek” and “The Shield.” On the other hand, von Buhler has toured the country with his former band, Splashdown, and worked with legendary producer Glen Ballard. Splashdown had songs featured in the soundtracks to the films “Titan A.E.” and “Clubland,” as well as television shows (“Charmed,” “Angel”).

Anarchy Club’s steady growth as a group can be attributed to strong songs embraced by a fiercely loyal, ever-evolving fan base. With A Single Drop Of Red, Anarchy Club makes their case as a talented, heavy-hitting musical duo with unlimited potential to deliver the rock.

The Gay Republican #10 - Bitch, I didn't Know This Was A Crack-House

Scratch what I said last time; I’m tired of mowing somebody else’s lawn.

With both interest rates and housing prices falling, I started house-hunting about two weeks ago. Nothing too fancy; and certainly nothing like my dream estates in La Cañada Flintridge, but something manageable, something charming, and something to call my own…

And of course, it has to be in Pasadena.

I actually found one. It is in Pasadena, and it’s totally affordable, but it’s on the northwest side. Which, if you know Pasadena, means that it’s in a less-than-desirable area. However, the actual crossroad that the house is on is reasonably well-maintained. The houses are all bright 1920’s-era cottages that can only be described as “… so cute.” And the roads are lined with mature trees that arch over; filling the air and dusting the streets with buds and leaves. It’s quaint. It’s idyllic. It’s me.

The only catch is that the house that I’m considering is itself an absolute wreck. Seriously; maybe a former crackhouse. It’s a stain.

If the neighborhood is Cindy Crawford’s face, this house would be her mole… if her mole were enormous. And hairy. And had its own mouth from which it shouted expletives at passers-by.

I contacted the realtor, and got pre-approved for financing. My ducks are in a row. But before I made a firm offer, I decided to bring out my uncle Dan, who owns a construction company in Ontario, to see what the house would need, realistically. After spending about 7 minutes on the property, he had a short piece of advice: “They’re still asking way too much for this house. Make a lowball offer, scrape it, and build new.”

The only difficulty with that bit of advice is that a construction loan is a lot harder to get than a conventional mortgage, because you’re asking the bank to finance something that doesn’t exist yet. They want a bigger down payment.

But Dan had another idea: “Go poke around Pasadena City Hall; there’s probably some grant money for first-time buyers or depressed areas or even ‘green’ construction or something.”

I cocked my head, thought for a second, and shot back, “Is it hypocrisy when liberalism benefits ME?”

He just shrugged.

So, feeling like Pat Buchanan signing up for food stamps, I started researching – on the web, at first – what programs might exist to help buy this house. As it turns out, there are indeed several aid programs for homebuyers; some offered by the City of Pasadena, some offered by the State of California, and some even from HUD.

But they’re all for low-income borrowers.

Apparently, the City of Pasadena feels that the way you un-depress a depressed area is to fix it so that the same people who depressed the area in the first place actually own the houses. This makes about as much sense as federalizing all the airport baggage screeners on September 12th, 2001.

“Let’s take the same guy, give him a raise, and put him in a Federal uniform.”
Thanks, George; I feel SO much safer.

Now, while I definitely believe in the “pride of ownership” effect (“People do not destroy that which they own”; a corollary that exposes one of the many fatal flaws of communism), it still doesn’t make sense to me to give houses to people who couldn’t afford to buy even run-down houses sans help, since that probably also means that they won’t be able to afford to maintain them, much less fix them up.

My senior year at SC, I had a macroeconomics class. The professor, of course, was a flaming liberal, so I had gotten used to tolerating an ankle-deep level of bullshit for the sake of a passing grade. But one day, he set out to define an “ideal income tax” structure, and one of the criteria he cited as fact was, “The tax must be progressive.”

(In case you don’t know, “progressive” means that if you have more income, you not only pay more tax, but you pay a greater portion of your income in tax.)

I raised my hand and proceeded to protest.

“How can you just say that, by definition, the ‘flat tax’ idea is bad? That just doesn’t pass the sniff test; plenty of reasonable people think a flat tax is a good idea. How can you, with your piece of chalk, simply dismiss it as a matter of definition?”

(A “flat tax”, by the way, is an arrangement where everybody pays the same percentage of their income in tax.)

I proceeded to argue with him until he changed his “ideal tax” definition from “progressive” to “not regressive” (which would be a tax structure where people with lower income pay a greater percentage of their income in tax).

A partial victory for conservative thought in the hostile territory of academia, perhaps, but nowhere near all that needs to be said on the matter.

Here’s a newsflash: everything priced in dollars and cents is “regressive.” The $8 or whatever that Target charges for a twelve-pack of Charmin Ultra costs you a greater fraction of your income if you make $32,000 per year than if you make $600,000 per year.

Does that mean that Target’s toilet paper pricing unfairly gouges the poor? You could say that, but it would make about as much sense as saying that laws discriminate against criminals.

THAT’S THE POINT.

That may sound cruel, but the free market is tough love. Economic inequality is, in fact, the reason for capitalism’s overall prosperity. It’s a motivator.

If the price of everything were indexed to income, then what would be the incentive to work hard and earn more income? Why not just be unemployed? Then everything would be free!

Or rather, it WOULD be… until everybody realizes that everything is free if you have no money. So everybody stops working, so nothing gets produced, and the “free” stuff dries up. And then everybody’s poor.

*** That’s the promise of socialism: We can all share misery equally. ***

In the opening scenes of the movie “The Skulls”, Joshua Jackson’s character, Lucas McNamara, is being quizzed by a professor on whether America is a class-based society or the meritocracy that we hope it is. He answers, “I believe that it’s both… It’s been my experience that merit is rewarded with wealth, and with wealth comes class.”

Now, I know it’s tough to believe in this era of Paris Hilton, but here’s a fact: wealth correlates with virtue….

Hear me out.

In a very basic sense, if you have a dollar in your pocket, it means that:

1) you worked to earn that dollar, and
2) you had the discipline not to spend it.

And the fact that you don’t have a second dollar means that you either:

1) didn’t work enough to earn that second dollar, or
2) didn’t have the discipline not to spend it.

So it’s not a bad thing that having more money means having more spending power. It’s actually quite good. That’s how the market economy rewards economic virtue.

Ergo, when you create schemes that award money, or goods, or anything to people simply because they don’t have them, you may be acting on the cause of charity, but you have to be careful the extent to which you do it. Because breaking the link between money and purchasing power is a dangerous thing. It perverts the fundamentals of the market economy.

Need an example? How about student financial aid?

Everybody wants an education, right? (It’s almost like health care; we think we all have a “right” to go to college now.) So, for years, the government has been handing out free money to people to go to college largely on the basis that they simply don’t have it and they want it.
Well, if you’ve checked out the nosebleed tuition rates lately, you can see the result of that policy.

Here’s a novel thought: If you’re going to make the liberal argument that the middle class is waning in real terms (which I’m NOT, but if YOU are), look at 40-something middle class American parents, who thought, when their kids were born in 1990, that if they could save a grand or two every year, they could send them to a nice college. Where are they now?

Frantically pouring over thick state and federal student aid documents to see if there’s any way they can get on the same dole that the poor are on.

Lesson: It’s the big-hearted, well-intentioned, check-writing liberalism that wound up putting college outside the reach of those who weren’t:

1) already wealthy, or
2) poor enough to qualify for some government cheese.

This brings me back to my housing situation.

I am NOT bemoaning the lack of some kind of “gay yuppie down payment assistance program” from the City of Pasadena. Because, while it might help me out right now, it would be ill-conceived, undeserved, short-sighted, and unfairly injurious to non-beneficiaries; It would address only one narrow complaint while worsening the broader problem.

In other words, it’s what a liberal would want.


My idea is simply this: Get rid of all these stupid aid programs, and just let the chips fall where they may.

Maybe prices would be more reasonable, and maybe I’d be a homeowner.

Or maybe I still wouldn’t. But if I weren’t, it wouldn’t be because the economically undeserving had been ushered to the front of the line.

11 Fun Facts About Nerf Herder

From the brilliant minds who brought you 1996’s “sorry I jacked off to your picture and crashed your wedding,” comes a brand new offering appropriately titled “IV.”

Yes! Nerf Herder is back on the prowl with a new album and a new attitude! Slated for an April 29 release date, “IV” will be worth a few spins.

Fun Nerf Herder Facts Sponsored by the Planetary Group:

1. Did you know that Nerf Herder was formed in 1994 by Parry Gripp, Steve Sherlock and Charlie Dennis?

It’s true. And the rest is history.

Did you know that Nerf Herder’s debut album came out on Joey Cape from Lagwagon’s My Records label?

It’s true. Joey needed a band to kick off his label, and when the few he really wanted wouldn’t do it, he had to settle for Nerf Herder, who he knew from Santa Barbara. He invested about 12 big ones to record the album with Ryan Greene. It was done quick and cheap, and turned out great. And the rest is history.

Did you know that Nerf Herder’s song “Van Halen” had been played on Live 105 before the band members had even gotten a copy of the CD?

It’s true! Fat Pete from Fat Wreck Chords, who received the shipment of CD’s for Joey, took the song to Live 105’s Aaron Axelsen, who immediately put it on the air. It began to smoke, and the rest is history.

Did you know that if you have a song on the radio some fool will give you money to be on their record label?

It’s true. Due to the success of their song “Van Halen”, Nerf Herder was flown to New York, put up in a fancy hotel, driven around in a limo, taken to a strip club, and then signed to a moderate-sized record contract with Arista Records. Weeks later the band would be driving around the country in a foul smelling rental van and sleeping on roll-away beds at the Days Inn every night. And the rest is history.

Did you know that Nerf Herder once sang happy birthday to Clive Davis, one of the most famous guys in the music industry?

It’s true. Although Arista is home to such famous singers as Aretha Franklin, Whitney Houston, and Barry Manilow, it was Nerf Herder that was walked into the gigantic Battle-Star Galactica-like boardroom at Arista Records and sang Happy Birthday for Clive’s 103rd (approximately) birthday. The band was then given a bottle of Kristal and sent off in a limo that had once been ridden in by Demi Moore. And the rest is history.

Did you know that some people consider Nerf Herder to be a type of music called Nerd Core?

It’s true. Also the band frequently gets its name spelled wrong, like “Nerf Heifer”. And the rest is history.

Did you know that Nerf Herder wrote and performed the theme song for the hot youth oriented television show, “Buffy The Vampire Slayer?”

It’s true. During the initial filming of the show, one of the cast members got a hold of Nerf Herder’s debut album, and soon the whole cast and crew was being subjected to Nerf Herder’s music. When show creator Joss Whedon was disappointed by the theme music that the fancy “professional” Hollywood theme music writer came up with, he asked Nerf Herder to give it a try. Not only did he love the song, but it was cheap, too. And the rest is history.

Did you know that Nerf Herder has never met or spoken with anyone from Van Halen, the band that inspired their mid-level hit from January of 1997?

It’s true! The band did hear that Alex and Eddie Van Halen really liked the song, and the band was given permission to use theirs, and Michael Anthony and Valerie Bertinalli’s images in their video for the song. David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar refused permission, Hagar going far enough as to call the band members “faggots”. The video for “Van Halen” was added to regular rotation on MTV and was seen by anyone who was watching the channel at 3 in the morning. M2 played the hell out of the song. And the rest is history.

Did you know that Nerf Herder, were not dropped, but actually requested to be let go from their major label deal in 1999, losing out on all kinds of big buy out bucks, gravy and stuff?

Completely accurate! Anticipating a long, doomful and embarrassing wait until eventual droppage, Nerf Herder opted to get out quick (relatively) and release a CD, “How To Meet Girls on Honest Don’s.” Man, are they glad they did that! And the rest is history.

Did you know the original Nerf Herder line-up of Parry, Steve and Charlie reunited, added Linus of Hollywood as a touring member, and recorded a new album, “IV”, chock full of awesome goodness, and that Oglio Records, the label that releases Parry’s solo material and loves all kinds of fun, nerdy and quirky music is the perfect new home for Nerf Herder?

It’s true. And the rest is history.

Did you know that Nerf Herder has toured with Weezer, Bloodhound Gang, Reel Big Fish, No Use For A Name and the Vandals?

It’s true! They’ve gone all over the world, most of Arizona and are heading out to the highway again in 2008. And the rest is history!

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Munk - Modest Among The Living

Label: Waxboy
Rating: 3.5 Guns

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Second chances are rare, but exciting. After a near-fatal car accident, Munk is back from the dead (metaphorically speaking) with “Modest Among The Living;” a Swing-Pop/ Alternative Rock opus, similar in style to bands like rocket From the Crypt and Lit.

Honestly, this band sounds like Rocket From the Crypt and Lenny Kravitz’s illegitimate baby, complete with crooning/raspy vocals and smooth guitar work. Heavy without going overboard, and poppy without leaving that sugarless aftertaste in your mouth, “Modest Among The Living” is so much more than a mere come-back album.

Starting with “Dirty Work,” a classic Pop/Rock banger, and swinging into piano-driven rocker “30 Days,” “Modest Among The Living” starts with a bang.

The album flows into “I Am,” a flutter, electronic-influenced slow jam. This song is as innovative as it is ambient; slightly influenced by fellow East-casters God Lives Underwater, and flows into electro-ballad “Awake and Waiting.”

Munk – “I Am”

Ending with Alt-Country-influenced “Beautiful (I Know You Are)” and heading into a reprise of “I Am” “Modest Among the Living” makes you want to hit the repeat button.

Other key tracks are: “Superheroes,” “Grave,” and “Sometimes Life Starts To Fall Into Pieces.”

Like this band? You may also like: Rocket From the Crypt, Sponge, Lit, Nada Surf, Lenny Kravitz

Instant Karma - Bob Marley Alive And Well

Written By: Renee Anderson

The first and only time I saw Bob Marley just happened to be in 2006. Not only was he quite alive, but young to boot. Every day I would pass one large, hilly park on my way to and from work. Every day I would glance over and see random park goings on. Little black pugs running around while their owners watched in fascination as though they had never seen their dogs play before. A variety of muttering homeless, park goers reading their books or taking their naps.

On my way home one day I turned the corner that put me about 3 blocks down from the park. There, on the sidewalk, were three pairs of bare feet coming at me. All I could think was how unsanitary it must be. I looked up and saw attached to these feet were three kids about my age, donned in their best hippie costumes. I glanced back as they passed, but it didn’t faze me too much, considering the kinds of things I see in this neighborhood on a daily basis.

As I traversed down the sidewalk at an impossibly slow pace, the sounds of a screaming crowd grew in my ears. The crowd sounded loud but calm at the same time. Something must be going on at the park, I assumed. The flowing sounds of organ rhythm, drums and guitar swirled around my head and seemed to make my ears float above me. Words soon accompanied the music:

"I-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i – I’m willing and able
So I throw my cards on your
table"

A concert, a band doing a Marley cover, or so I thought. The nearer I drew to the park, the more intense the sound grew. A free park concert seemed strange, especially for a band that attracted so many people. Once I reached the park the smell of ganja and clouds of smoke swirled with the joyful screams, clapping hands and dancing feet. Thousands of people crammed by the stage, while the crowd thinned farther back, with many small groups sitting on the grass, smoking joints. I wondered why the cops weren’t around. Everyone seemed to be donned in their best 70’s gear, like the three I had seen before.

Over the heads of thousands I saw him, up on stage with his Wailers. His red button up shirt and bell bottoms stood out amongst the stage, and his long dreadlocks bounced with the rhythm as his feet wouldn’t stop moving. My jaw dropped further with every closer step I took toward the stage. It obviously had to be a cover band. I made my way through the dancing and jumping audience as they sung along as loud as they could, knowing that only at a concert could you truly sing your heart out without the burden of self-consciousness. At closer inspection of his closed eyes and the passion of his voice I knew it was him. Of course this was still unacceptable.

"Who is this band?" I asked of some people to my right. They only laughed.

"What’s going on? Who is this guy?" I asked of another.

"You never heard of Bob Marley?" He asked me.

He reeked of another era. I looked down lower on the stage and saw the banner: One Love Benefit Concert: 1976. All I could conclude was that either someone slipped me some very powerful drugs, or I was experiencing something I would never be able to explain.

I looked around and saw only old car models drive down the road I had just been walking next to. No one held a cell phone, no one dressed in any modern clothes. I looked around in confusion but was pulled to the stage nonetheless, as the sun went down with Bob Marley and he told us all that everything’s gonna be all right. I wanted to stay forever. But when the sun disappeared the year faded with it. In an instant it was all gone, and I stood quite alone in the middle of the park, smelling of sweat and marijuana. The music faded last, and I began to walk away as sirens, dogs barking, and general nighttime blur seeped into my ears. The first person I saw again was a homeless man that stood across the street from the park. He held up a sign that read; There’s a natural mystic flowing through the air. If you listen carefully now, you will hear.

White Chicks On Rap - Ghostface Killah - The Big Doe Rehab

Label: Island/Def Jam
Rating: 3 Guns

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There are very few amazing and talented veterans in the rap game; Ghostface Killah is one of the those tiny few. At 37, Ghostface has released seven solo albums, is a member of The Wu-Tang Clan and shows a lighter side on the MTV2 shorts “The World According To Pretty Toney” and in films like “Walk Hard.”

On “The Big Doe Rehab,” the violence is still in full force. On the song “Walk Around” an innocent trip to the grocery store turns into a murder and how much of a bitch it is to get the blood stains out. Trust me, it is a bitch getting blood stains out of your clothes.

After a murder, Ghostface knows how to have a good time. On “We Celebrate”, Ghostface celebrates hip hop, poppin’ corks, New York and the world. “Paisley Darts” is a true “you can’t fuck with me” anthem featuring Cappadonna, Method Man, Raekwon, Sun God, and Trife Da God. I would give you a line, but there are too many to choose from and I would be writing the whole song.

Like I said from the beginning…there are very few good veterans.

p.s. If you want a fact, The Wu-Tang Clan’s “The 8 Diagrams” was supposed to be released on December 4th, but Ghostface was upset as this is the date he was releasing his album. RZA of Wu-Tang moved the Clan’s release to December 11th to avoid conflict.

Midwest Teen Sex Show #10 - Dating

INNOVATION OF SUBJECTS LIGHTER THAN SOUND

Written by: Mario R. Martin

“Electronica sucks!” We’ve all heard it. Hell, at some point, we may all have felt it. But every once in a while, you hear, ahem, sorry…every once in a while you feel electronica in your heart and soul.

Do you remember the first time you heard “Firestarter” by Prodigy, “Around The World” by Daft Punk or “South Side” by Moby? Sure you do. Now those are just the tracks that the mainstream allows you to hear. Regardless, electronica is one of those genres of music that evolves more than guitar bands. Maybe it’s the technology and its self-awareness within the genre that makes it flourish as one of the types of music that still sells through. How? The world has no idea, but it’s grateful it exists.

And since every once in a while there’s some music that truly moves the masses, it’s only fair to put the guitars to the side for a while, and expose some of the best in electronica coming down the pike. First off is Costa Music.
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Costa Music - “Lighter Subjects”

Label: Stilll Records
Rating: 4 Guns

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Joseph Costa’s previous efforts with L’Altra were moody neo-pop non sequitors filled with sexual tensions between exes. With the debut of Costa Music, only the ex has been let go. While some may consider this repetitious, others may go deeper to find the furthest from “lighter subjects” on Joseph Costa’s first solo effort.

“Lighter Subjects” strays from the ambient nature of L’Altra, while keeping with its dark and androgynous soundtrack. While “Subjects” is not so much an electronica record, it gives programming a run for its money. More along the lines of Portishead and Radiohead, Costa Music leads with the right foot in the realm of surrealism in a genre that can become too comfortable in its own niche that it sometimes grows stagnant.

This incredible debut leads off with the track “As I Go Beneath” that haunts as much as it entertains. The ethereal soundscape of guitar strums and thick beats is something to be envied, while Costa’s voice lends a subversive skew to the norm, yet surprisingly has filled in all the puzzle pieces with nothing but an inclined, and possibly genius collection of tracks. Ambient has a new direction, and I believe it is Costa Music.

Costa Music Myspace:

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Oscar G - "Innov8"

Label: Nervous Records
Rating: 4 Guns

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Review By: Mario R. Martin

It may be rather ballsy to name one’s record “Innov8,” but in Oscar G’s case, it’s spot on. Known for his brand of underground house music, G is 50% of the Miami-based duo, Murk. Together, the pair keep dance floors occupied in South Beach, but alone, G is a wrecking ball of beats, loops, samples and hi-hats ready to split apart woofers and tweeters from coast to coast.

Looking a lot like the Che Guevara of house music, Oscar G’s “Innov8” is a mover. But the true difference between good and bad house is that G’s collection of original material accomplishes the sublime, it tells a story. As anyone who’s ever taken a creative writing class, a good story has to set a back ground (“Angel” and “Pimp”) where it basically lays the groundwork for the rest of the story (or record). The rising action (“Danceflow” and “You”) characteristically showcase the prowess of the writer (or DJ) in preparation for the climax (“Miami” and “Chunky”) where the killer is revealed. The falling action (“Lookin’” and “Crunchy Haze”) wraps up the events of the climax and prepares the reader (or listeners/dancers) for the summary or ending (“Anxious”) which can either give you a chill, or excite you to the point of wanting more.

Despite what a sweaty Miami club-goer may know about constructing a story, or moreover, digesting it, the author (DJ) is the evil genius who premeditated it all; every beat, every break, every peak. “Innov8” succeeds where other house or jungle records fail, it completed the full rotation, from the build when you get to the club, dance, and put the record back on when you leave, bobbing your head in awe of the power of the beat.

Oscar G Myspace:

Whirled News - Bush Administration Reveals Bold New Climate Change Plan

The Bush administration announced its long awaited plans to address global warming. Signifying the importance of the new proposal, Vice President Cheney, the most powerful man in the United States government, announced the bold new plan.

“We’re going to bomb the bejeezus out of Iran, Afghanistan, and a few other places which I do not intend to divulge in order to keep the terrorists guessing,” the Vice President announced. “The combined force of the unprecedented explosions will move the Earth a few degrees out of its present orbit, just farther enough from the sun to cool our temperature by two degrees Fahrenheit.”

Insisting that the Bush administration had learned a lesson about post-war planning, Mr. Cheney announced that the United States would immediately begin drilling for oil in Alaska and building a string of refineries across the country.

“We’re going to need more heating oil when our planet moves further away from the sun and starts cooling,” he said, and we’ll be ready for it.”

Stressing that the new environmental plan entailed even longer-range planning than the new oil drilling, Mr. Cheney also announced a $10 trillion contract to Raytheon to develop the next generation of nuclear bombs to move the Earth again 30 years from now when the increase in fossil fuel burning may necessitate another orbital readjustment. As part of the plan, Halliburton has been awarded a $1 trillion contract to build and maintain Raytheon City in the Mojave Desert, which will house the massive project.

“The new city will require water,” Mr. Cheney pointed out, “And so former Haliburton subsidiary Brown, Kellogg and Root will be awarded an $80 billion contract to build a pipeline from the Great Lakes to the Mojave Desert.”

Referring to critics, who have warned that the project will result in the draining of the Great Lakes, as “environmental alarmists,” Mr. Cheney pointed out that with Lakes Mead and Powell projected to dry up by 2021, the emerging dry basins will provide excellent holding areas for the newly arriving Great Lakes waters, a clear indication, he said, that God favors the administration’s plan.

The Gay Republican - Grass-Chopping And Textual Slurs

I’m going to lead off this week’s article with an update on my lawn situation: I’ve now mowed it myself three times. In return, I’ve received one “thank you”, but no hint that Alex actually intends to buy a new mower and resume his landlordly groundskeeping duties. I’m not really complaining though. The initial fight with the pull-starter of my neighbor’s rickety old pushmower, the act of pushing it back and forth across the lawn, detaching the bag to empty the clippings, the smell of fresh-cut grass mixed with exhaust; they’re all whimsical reminders of childhood chores.

The only problem with this lawn care arrangement, as I touched on before, is that I think I’ve more or less assumed responsibility for it….

Oops.

That’s the problem with low expectations: if you set them, people will probably meet them. And that’s a lesson whose application is far broader than my small lawn.

I think I’ve begun to apply this lesson to dating. And judging by this past weekend, it’s working out far better than even I expected.

Peter (remember him, from the Abbey on the night I re-acquainted myself with liquor?) called last week and asked if I wanted to go to a birthday party with him. Friend of a friend, Fiesta Cantina, Friday night. Around 11:00 PM, so show up at his place around 10 PM. “And you can stay over if you like.”

I’m not sure whether he was keeping track, but this was to be our third date, which is better than I’ve fared with most boys who live in WeHo. I supposed that that was a vaguely positive sign, so I got dressed and hopped in the car a little after 9 PM to make the trek from Pasadena down to the 90069.

My feelings for him were sort of lukewarm at that point; I’d come to the somewhat disappointing conclusion that while he was a pretty good dude, he was just a little bit crazy. Crazy in a fun way – I’d perversely enjoyed the big gay scene we’d made the prior weekend at Neomeze, in a sausage-fest sea of Drakkar-soaked Persians – but crazy all the same.

He seemed characteristically scatterbrained when I arrived at his place on Friday night. Over a couple glasses of wine, we spent about an hour listening to American Idol’s David Archuleta performing a candy-coated rendition of Phil Collins’ “Another Day in Paradise” and searching for his misplaced crystal champagne bucket that matched the stemware out of which we were drinking.

A little crazy, but about par for the course... Right?

We walked up Robertson to Fiesta Cantina around 11:30. Weaving through the front patio, we bumped into an acquaintance of his who, after exchanging embraces, remarked to Peter, “You look trashed.”

As we continued through the crowd, Peter asked me, “I don’t look trashed, do I?”

“Not that I noticed.”

Oh, but I should have.

One hour and three additional drinks later, he was bordering on passed-out standing.

So THAT’S what it is. You’re not crazy. I’ve just never once seen you sober!

As conversation splintered and kisses got sloppy, I could feel my inner bitch spark to life. At one point he slurred an admission that he’d consumed an entire bottle of wine before I even arrived.

"Uh-HUH. Did you, then?"

So rather than make a scene, attempting to articulate my repulse to a slobbering drunk, I pulled my signature “Worst-Case Scenario Dating Survival Guide” move: I waited until he was distracted and then I walked out.

This is not the first time I’ve employed this tactic. (One more time, and I think it’s considered a hobby). I’ve honed it to a point where I involuntarily plan a clean-break exit strategy for any date that has a remote chance of going disastrously downhill:

*Always keep your phone, wallet, and keys in your pocket.
*Always have cash for a cab.
*Be aware of where you are, where you go, and remember where your car is
parked.

On one previous occasion, I’d even stashed my sunglasses (which didn’t match my evening outfit) in a potted plant on the unsatisfactory suitor’s open-air front porch. It worked out peachy, because my car was parked across the street from his house.

My car was parked in the parking structure for Peter’s building, but only because I’d observed on my arrival there that one garage door was stuck open. As I approached my car, the text messages started.

“Where are you?”

“I left.”

“What?”
…

“Please come back.”
…

“Please come back; where are you??”

…

And then, the phone call.

“What happened? Why’d you leave?”

“Because you’re too drunk to see and it’s 1:15 AM, and I’m tired, and I don’t feel like hanging out anymore. And I definitely don’t feel like spending the night at your house.”

“Wha?? Buh… Um... Why???”

“Listen, Peter; neither of us are in good shape to have this conversation right now. So go back to your party and I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Then more text messages.

Then the voicemails.

It was beginning to bear an alarming resemblance to the night of March 1st. Only this time, I just wasn’t drunk enough to be amused.

Saturday morning I did my usual morning-after-West-Hollywood routine: I went to the gym to sweat out any residual alcohol; I did laundry, I tidied up the house, and I ran some errands.

But... when I came home that afternoon, I found a surprise: A big, deliciously fragrant bouquet of flowers on my front porch. And a very sweet note.

As I write this article, I’m digesting a pleasant lunch that we shared this afternoon.

This brings me full-circle to where I started. You have to be true to yourself when you set expectations. It’s not worth it to live down to somebody else’s low standards for the sake of companionship (or anything else, for that matter). If they’re sufficiently interested in you, and they have enough respect for you, they’ll live up to yours.

Maybe if I bleach the lawn and cut down the tree in the front yard, Alex will start handling the gardening again…

I don’t think I’ll try it though.

The Dreamscapes Project - Pity In A Heartbeat

Label: Figmental Records
Rating: 3.5 Guns
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The Dreamscapes Project is one of the most innovative bands to come out of the East Coast in the last decade. Picture Dave Matthews meets Live, and you’ve got “Pity In A Heartbeat,” the band’s newest offering. Completely acoustic, and interwoven with shining cello, “Pity In A Heartbeat” breathes a new breath of life to Washington D.C.’s stale acoustic scene.

Similar in style to bands like Days of the New, Dave Matthews, R.E.M., and Adam Richman, these D.C. veterans bend and mold the Acoustic genre, making it just as aggressive, if not mores so than bands using distortion and loud guitars. Keith Center, the band’s singer prefers the raw emotion of acoustic guitar to the over-processed sound of amps and effects, and it really shows on “Pity In A Heartbeat.”

The Dreamscapes Project – “Seldom A Sword”

“Excess,” the album’s lead track, starts off with poppy vocal hooks, laden with cello, and rips right into “food For Thought.”

“Seldom A Sword” is a interesting little song, merging elements of Acoustic Rock, Reggae, and Hip-Hop. Singer Keith Center even raps on the song’s verses.

Like this band? You may also like: On, Days Of The New, Live, Adam Richman, Dave Matthews, After Midnight Project

Bush Girl - My Lil' Bush

Happy Slip - Speechless

Midwest Teen Sex Show #9 - Syphilis

Dreamscapes Project - Tour Dates

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With no distortion or digital effects tainting their sound, the dreamscapes project delivers music with nothing to hide. Raw and bare, the group brings a simple and honest sound to the table with an acoustic guitar, bass, two percussionists, and shimmering cello accompaniment.

“I think there is something so disarming about acoustic music. There are no walls of distortion to hide behind,” says singer/songwriter, Keith Center. “To express emotion, you just have to express it.”

The Dreamscapes Project - "Excess"

With one of the strongest local followings throughout the Washington D.C.-area and an impressive catalogue of releases, the dreamscapes project is ready to bring their raw acoustic exuberance to the national scene with their new full-length Pity In A Heartbeat, being re-released May 6, 2008, on Figmental Records.The record displays Keith Center (vocals/guitar), Jeremy Rodgers (bass guitar/vocals), Ben Guy (cello/vocals), Gordon Shankman (drums/percussion) and Eric Sanford (percussion/drums) at their finest musical potential, gently wrapping the ardor of Center’s lyrics with Guy’s strikingly engrossing cello lines and precise percussion.

“Anger and frustration isn’t about stepping on a box or hitting a switch, it’s about lashing out and flailing, and an acoustic guitar forces you to do that,” says Center. “There is no short cut, sometimes you just have to start breaking strings and bloodying fingers to get the sound you want.”

THE DREAMSCAPES PROJECT ON TOUR:
3.29 Gaithersburg, MD @ Dogfish Head Alehouse
5.16 Mount Joy, PA @ Bube's Brewery
5.18 Leesburg, VA @ Tarara Winery
6.01 Herndon, VA @ Herndon Festival
6.07 Fairfax, VA @ Celebrate Fairfax
7.19 Columbia, MD @ Mad City Coffee
8.23 Chestertown, MD @ Andy's

Official band Web site:

Happy Slip - I'm Going To L.A.

White Chicks On Rap - Snoop Dogg - Ego Trippin'

Label: Doggystyle/Geffen
Rating: 3 Guns

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"You can't take the hood out of the homeboy" Snoop raps on “Can’t Say Goodbye”. I doubt the Snoop would ever say goodbye. From film, TV and music Snoop Dogg has made a lasting impression in each field.

Snoop’s ninth studio album still proves he is the Doggfather of rap. Snoop even pays respect to a “real American gangster” Johnny Cash by dedicating “My Medicine” to his honor. Knowing Snoop and his lifestyle, you can guess what his medicine is or just listen to the line “I'm high, all day, everyday.”

Snoop Dogg – “Pres Play”


“Sexual Eruption” deals with, well you know…and from the sound it was good. “I'm gonna take my time/She gon' get hers before I/I'm gonna take it slow/I'm not gon' rush the stroke.”

Now we all know the Snoop is a great rapper, but did you know he sings. Snoops shows a new skill on the track “Cool” which is a cover of The Time song. If The Time does reunite, Snoop needs to be there, because he fits right in with Morris Day, Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis. Just to let you know, in case you don’t…The Time were and are the shit…they worked with Prince, was in Purple Rain and Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis became successful producers for Janet Jackson, Michael Jackson, Mariah Carey, Usher, etc. With the history listen over…back to Snoop.

As Snoop said “Get your rap on” and “Press Play”.